touchdown reality!

"i don't feel alright in spite of these comforting sounds you make.
i don't feel alright because you make promises that you break."

after all of this time, your voices still relaxing me. i don't know why. i just love to hear you speak, love to hear you laugh. while text-ing with you also seems so fine. and realize that what we have here are fine too. no lie and no hurt feeling. that's the best way to describe our undescribe relation. :) i like you. i love you. i do. :) and seems like it goes pretty well each day. if you called this a good thing, i couldn't agree more. i follow you. i follow my self. i follow my heart, yes it's on my left side but InsyaAllah it always right..

"and probably you know all the dirty shows I've put on.
blunted and exhausted like anyone.
honestly I tried to avoid it.
honestly.
back when we were kids, we would always know when to stop.
and now all the good kids are messing up.
nobody has gained or accomplished anything.."

comforting sound : mew

Ps: if i can't make it good for you, at least i try. no regret, bi.
i feel you, SAB :*

am sorry..

tulisan ini untuk kamu. my 1st april. my april mop. my happy pills. and all am sayin here is absofuckinlutely not a joke! i mean it.


i love you

and am sorry

Sebenarnya kenapa?

ini cerita saya tentang satu hubungan baru. yang tadinya hanya teman sekarang menjadi lebih karena porsinya yang bertambah di hati. saya suka, iya. orangnya menyenangkan, bebas dan seadanya. tapi keluarga saya tidak suka. ini yang masih menyisakan tanya. dia memang terlalu bebas dan seadanya tapi keluarga saya menyimpulkan dia nekat, urakan dan semaunya. yang mana menurut mereka tidak bagus untuk saya. hujan-hujan dateng ke rumah naik angkutan umum, saya sih ngenes terharu tapi senang. iyalah saya senang, lelaki ini niat banget. hujan pun di terobos tetep dateng sesuai janji. tapi keluarga saya berfikir lelaki ini nekat begini pasti ada maunya.

menurut saya benar, menurut keluarga saya juga benar. tergantung dari sudut mana kebenaran itu dilihat.

susah saya samakan persepsi..
saya tidak pandai merangkai kata-kata manis untuk meyakinkan orang..
saya asal ngomong begini saja, saya suka sama dia dan tetap akan berteman dengannya. sebenarnya kenapa sih??